Pattern Testing Burnout & Breaks
Well, hello! Welcome to my first post in approximately NINE MONTHS. Whoops. Totally didn’t mean for that to happen, but… first baby, life, etc. And what greater topic to return from a longer-than-expected blog break than the topic of BURNOUT and BREAKS?
(Purposefully displaying one of my few handmades that was NOT a pattern test - the As Friends Tank (Ravelry Link Here) by Jessie Maed Designs.)
As many of you know, I have been a serial pattern tester since 2019. Until my baby was born in October 2021, there was not a single week where I didn’t have at least one active pattern test on the go, often more than three. Prioritizing my WIPs depended entirely on which deadline was up next rather than what I felt like working on at the time, and I was often chasing pattern test deadlines week after week. I’d finish one and quickly turn back to whatever test was due next, only to finish that one and quickly turn to the next one. Don’t get me wrong – I love(d) it! Nobody is forcing me to be a pattern tester, and I get a lot of satisfaction from engaging in pattern tests. It gives me a greater sense of purpose with my craft and the deadlines motivate me to finish. It’s the best!
….And yet, I found myself absolutely dreading it last year. I didn’t want to work on the patterns I needed to finish by certain deadlines. I LOATHED the idea of providing feedback. Even the act of measuring my yardage felt like such an unfair burden. And the tester chats I used to love participating in? Those became a source of extreme social anxiety and angst. I’d open tester chats just to clear the notification and not bother reading what was going on. I’d get frustrated if people were being too chatty, even though that’s how I met so many of my fiber friends. I used to love chatting yarn choices and seeing WIP progress. It was not anyone’s fault but my own. I took on too much and I burned out on the one thing I loved the most. And that’s how we ended up in the situation where the pattern tester blogger suddenly hated pattern testing.
So, what happened?
I blamed my pregnancy.
Then I blamed my newborn.
I also blamed my backlog of Ravelry patterns piling up in my library. I just wanted to make things that already existed but I never had time!
There had to be some sort of explanation, right? But it was simpler than that: I took on too many pattern tests to continue enjoying it. That was the only real explanation.
I reached out to others on my Instagram and found that a significant amount of pattern testers experienced this very same thing. In fact, 87% of people who responded to my poll reported that they have “felt burned out from pattern testing.” Many of them took breaks for several months, even a full year, before finding the motivation to come back to it again. Some are still on breaks and don’t foresee ever returning.
As comforting as it was to realize I am not alone, I found it mostly upsetting and unfortunate that so many pattern testers experience the same thing. Pattern testers are essential to the success of new designs that we love to create, so it does not benefit anyone to have us all burning out on it, right?
I am starting to ease my way back into pattern testing, but it took a lot of self-assessment and boundary setting. I had to learn to first recognize the signs of impending burnout, and then implement certain steps to help reduce the burnout and keep the spark alive.
What are the signs of pattern testing burnout?
For me, it looks a lot like:
Dreading the feedback that I need to provide at the end, and letting pattern feedback pile up until the deadline, even if I finished well before then (I typically LOVE editing patterns and providing feedback, so this feeling is not a good sign for me);
Anxiety about tester chats;
Frustration when a tester call is posted for something I would want to test, because UGH, another one?!; and
Doing the bare minimum when it comes to Instagram posts, feedback, and engagement in the pattern test process
When I asked my followers on Instagram, some of the other burnout signs that came up included:
Only wanting to work on something that was not a test, and/or casting on a new project because of test project dread;
Complete loss of “cro-jo” (the desire to knit or crochet at all);
Loss of love for the pattern you’re testing as time goes on;
Dreading the need to get photos and wanting to give zero feedback;
Wondering if the designer even cares if you finish your test;
Being unable to pick yarn for the project;
Self-doubt and being hard on yourself;
Dreaming about personal projects and being annoyed you can’t work on them;
It starts to feel like a job you don’t get paid for;
Not wanting to participate in the social aspect of pattern testing; and
Feeling anxiety even looking at a tester call or email; feeling annoyed by the “welcome testers” email after being chosen.
When testers reach the point of burnout, it seems like the most common reaction is a 100 percent break from all pattern testing. Whether it be a few weeks, a few months, a year, or indefinite, almost everyone I heard from who experienced burnout said they took a break from pattern testing. While I do think breaks are good for everyone at certain times, I think it would be better if we all learned to avoid intense burnout in the first place and instead maintain a steady pace of pattern testing over a longer period. That way, nobody starts dreading the thing we all loved in the first place, right?
What can I do to avoid tester burnout?
Once you’ve recognized that you might be starting to feel the signs of tester burnout but before you reach the point of needing a full break, try implementing a few of these steps. These have worked well for me, and keep me wanting at least one pattern test at a time:
See a pattern test application for a design you absolutely LOVE… and LET IT GO.
This is the hardest one for me. But take a look at that beautiful tester call. It’s perfect for you right? It’s exactly what you want to make right now. You could probably get it done. Get consumed with all the FOMO. Maybe even fill out the application if you can’t help yourself but don’t hit submit (I have done this far too many times). Think about that perfect yarn in your stash you would use for the test… and set it aside. Let the deadline pass. Don’t sign up for it.
If you’re anything like me, you will be shocked to discover that life does indeed go on when you do not participate in the pattern test. And, in fact, you might even feel *relief* once the tester call closes.
Pro Tip: Set a reminder for however many weeks out the release will be and buy the pattern when it comes out. Use the yarn you had in mind and make this design at your own pace. Make modifications if you’d like. Don’t worry about measuring your yardage or fixing typos.
Force yourself to only apply for pattern tests that absolutely fit your style.
This was a big one for me too. I got so used to testing anything and everything that popped up for designers I loved that I wasn’t even considering if it’s something I’d actually wear/use.
Ask yourself:
Not a big crop wearer? Don’t apply for the crop top right now, even if you can make it look cute with that high waisted skirt in your closet (that you never actually wear, admit it.) Remember, you can buy the pattern at the end and lengthen it to your desire when it’s not a test! (This is a big one for me right now - I lengthened my As Friends Tank shown above by SIX inches. If i had tested this design like I wanted to at the time, it would have ended up as something I never wore. Now, because I waited and made it at my own pace with modifications to my liking, it is one of my most worn pieces of clothing in my closet.)
Not a fan of high necklines? Don’t apply for the fourth high neck tee you’ve made this year, when you don’t even wear the other three.
Not loving super loose-fitting garments? Maybe that SUPER CUTE design with 10 inches of positive ease does not need to be tested by you right now.
Assess pattern test deadlines and give yourself at least 2-3 weeks between deadlines.
I find that my anxiety is always highest when I have 2+ pattern tests due within the same week. Even if I have ample time to work on them all before that deadline, the thought of having to get feedback and photos and post on Instagram promoting the designs all at the same time sends me straight into overwhelm mode. Now, I try to make sure any pattern tests I take on have well-spaced-out deadlines.
Find yourself a pattern testing spotter!
Perhaps you know someone else who also takes on too many pattern tests. Or you have a friend who just knows you take on too much. Ask that friend to keep you in check! When my pattern testing is out of control, I have a friend or two who I touch base with – we agree not to apply to anything without talking to each other first. This has helped me avoid applying to so many tests, but has also helped confirm that I should apply to certain tests. Your spotter’s job isn’t to just talk you out of everything for sure, but to make sure you’re making smart decisions about what to take on and what to leave behind.
If your personal life is busy or unpredictable but you’d like to try to do a test, have a chat with the designer and see if they’re willing to be flexible.
When I am not sure if I will have time for a pattern test, I stick with tests for friends who say they don’t mind if I can’t finish. BUT ALWAYS HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH THEM FIRST. Don’t assume that just because they’re friendly with you, they will not care if you don’t finish. Even friends need good feedback to publish a successful design, so make sure they can get the feedback they need with or without you finishing on time. And don’t take it personally or be offended if a designer would rather you not try to test if you’re not sure you can finish. Respect their decision.
FYI, this works best with designers you have a pre-existing relationship with, as they may already know what’s going on in your life or trust that you will try your best to get the pattern test done, even if you might not be able to finish. Do not ask a designer for flexibility if you don’t know them well or haven’t tested for them before, as that might put them in an uncomfortable situation of wanting to be flexible and nice, but not wanting to fill limited pattern tester slots with someone who admittedly might not finish.
Repeat after me: There has never been a time where I wanted to apply for a pattern test, and none were available.
When all else fails, this is what I must keep telling myself. There are ALWAYS pattern tests I want to apply for, often more than one. If I let this one pass, another one will pop up soon. Maybe I’ll be in a better situation when that one comes up.
(FYI, this also applies to yarn for me: there has never been a time where I wanted to buy yarn and there was no pretty yarn available. And I am now assessing whether this applies to progress keepers too. 😉)
***
Honestly, one of the biggest hurdles for me was my fear that someone would think I don’t like their design if I don’t apply to test it. Especially with designers for whom I had tested regularly. And extra-especially if I knew there was another test coming up that I was going to take on. I get so much anxiety thinking that it might upset one designer to see me post about a different pattern I was testing when I had passed on their pattern test call. But I had to learn to let that go. Whether or not I take on a pattern test at any given time depends on so many things, and only rarely is one of those many things whether I like the design. Many designers have been pattern testers too, and they too do not apply for every pattern test they would like to be part of because they do not have the time. We can’t all test every single design we love every single time. I had to learn to trust that the designers understand the many factors that go into these decisions and know it’s not personal. Plus, you can promote designs you love in ways other than pattern testing. Share the designers’ and testers’ posts about the pattern. Buy the pattern when it comes out. Make and post about the pattern after it is published. Remember, pattern testing is only one of many ways to support a designer!
Hopefully this post will help you recognize the signs that you’re taking on too much before you reach the point of needing to take a complete break. But if you need to take a break, that’s okay too! There will be plenty of designs ready for you to test when you come back. :)
